A Letter to Myself

Dear me, one year ago today,

Here you are, after six years of loyalty and growth for the company, making the solid decision that your time has come to a close. It’s a decision that would normally be a difficult one to make, with several moments of second-guessing and hems to be hawed, but the last few weeks have proven to you that the effort and work you have put into the success of your team and its leaders has amounted, to them, to nothing. The four-page e-Mail you have just opened, from the main leader, tells you everything you need to know about where you stand in her eyes; and without reading the entirety of the text itself, phrases and photos stand out to you and the back of your head and the bottom of your heart are telling you, in harmonic unison: “You need to get out.”

With that decision made, you will draft up a letter of resignation that will both express an appreciation for those who assisted and supported you in your time there, while at the same time illustrate the extreme disappointment for those who abused and neglected your presence on the team. Though the resignation process will be adhered to on an administrative level, processes put into place to ensure the information for your exit is correct and handled in the most immediate manner available, your departure will not be acknowledged by anyone in a senior management position. The general manager will proceed to avoid any and all contact and interaction with you in the two weeks you have left with the team, and as far as management on a higher level is concerned? Let’s just say that everyone further reinforces the validity of your choosing to leave.

On your last day with the company, nothing will be done for you, to either celebrate the time you were there nor to mourn the loss of a member of the team. In spite of that, you will take it upon yourself to provide a cake for the day crew and cupcakes for the overnight crew. You will speak with each associate personally that is in the building that day and thank them for the time you got to work with them and become close. Though you won’t miss the place, you will miss the people.

Once you leave the building for the last time, you will not feel a sense of sadness; you will, instead, feel an amazing sense of relief. Regardless of the unknown direction of your life at that point in time, with no current prospects as to what you will be doing for employment, how you will make ends meet, you know without a doubt that your life is heading in a better direction than had you decided to stay.

Fair warning, though: the next three months will be challenging. The days will bleed together, and though you will exercise a majority of your Netflix and Hulu queues, you will also develop a mild depression. You will start to question your value and begin to feel like a burden to those who are helping support you while redefining your focus personally and professionally. The job interviews you will have will be sparse and lackluster: your decision to move away from “chaotic retail” to something more in an office administrative position seems very picky while, at the same time, not coming anywhere close to what you envision yourself doing after working twenty years in retail management.

You will, though, receive a text from a recruiter, asking to schedule a thirty-minute phone interview with you. Something about the set-up of the interview will feel different from the others you have recently had, and you definitely need to find something so you take a chance. When the phone interview happens, thirty minutes turns into an hour and fifteen minutes. You will feel confident the interview went well and when you get the notification to set up your second interview with a manager you would be working for and with, should you get the job, you start to believe that things are about to change for the better.

And you will be right.

Mark your calendar for March 1, 2022; that will be the day that you start working as a Retail Experience Manager for Ashley Furniture/Broad River Retail. When you have spoken during both of your interviews, you will have a feeling that this position is absolutely perfect for your personal preferences, and it won’t hurt that the previous employment experiences you’ve had will fit firmly with this role. In short, it will feel like a role that was tailored specifically for you.

I won’t give away everything that has happened in the eight months since starting this new position and new chapter in your life – you need to feel the excitement and validation you will receive first-hand and without any prior or additional indicators. All of what I have written to this point may be seen as cheating, from a “spoiler alert” viewpoint – and, believe me, we still absolutely abhor those spoilers – but the main point of everything I have said is this: 

You will go through a tough time, but it will not only end with something much better on the other side, but you will have a far better appreciation and respect for yourself and what that other side provides. You will meet people who you can truly and unironically think of and call your people. Your hard work and contributions will be acknowledged and appreciated in ways that you had heard of being a thing but did not believe they were real until you experience them for yourself. You will feel trust and validation and create experiences in such a short time that you will find yourself back-and-forth between two constant thoughts: “Is this really happening?” and “It’s about time this is happening.” 

Above all else, this will be the first time, in a long time, that you will not feel stuck, that the things you have wanted in life are all the more tangible and accessible. You will feel that you lucked out, you have fallen into a team of hard-working, wonderful people. Don’t let your brain, after all those years of conditioning otherwise, get it twisted: You belong amongst these hard-working and wonderful people. You will make memories in ways you did not think possible in a professional world, and you will end up on a path to continue to make impacts where you can.

But first, you have to type out that letter. You got this, and though the next few months will be trying, they will be worth it. Enjoy “Cobra Kai”, read all of those books currently on your to-be-read pile (don’t worry, there will be more books to read as time goes on), keep drawing, and if nothing else: recharge your soul. It’s about to become more full and fulfilling.

With love and envy for all that you are about to experience,

You, one year later